The Task of Songwind
by Songwind
Summary: I force the main-main and main-main-main characters of the books to paint a house and chaos insues.


The Task of Songwind  
By Songwind  
This is just a silly story I thought of when I had to do a rather tiring project with my parents at home. I'm sure you all will be able to sympathize when you find out what that is. Please enjoy!  
WARNING- Silk is my favorite character. There WILL be glomping.  
DISCLAIMER- Sadly, I don't own these characters. They belong to David Eddings and his series the Belgariad and the Malloreon.  
  
For some obscure and not quite known reason, all of the main-main characters and the main-main-main characters from the David Eddings books were gathered together for a little vacation trip. Durnik was busying himself making the fire, Toth was sitting there just generally doing nothing, Belgarath was drinking ale and grumbling to no one in particular, Silk was trying to figure out what his newly 'acquired' things were worth, and so on. They were on the edges of the Dryad's wood, and for some reason the Dryads had decided not to bother them. It is just before Garion's son is even born, much less stolen.  
  
Garion- (stretches his arms over his head) Aah, this is so much better than sitting around listening to someone ramble on about alliances and such.  
  
Toth- (sitting there. I don't really know why he's here, but he is, so there. Um, yeah.)  
  
Ce'Nedra- (busy counting coins repeatedly)  
  
Silk- (glares at a bolt of cloth) Pink... who in the world wears PINK?  
  
Belgarath- (not really talking to anyone in particular) You know, something bad is bound to happen soon, it's been far too peaceful lately.   
  
Errand- (sitting there)  
  
Velvet- (staring at Silk with hearts in her eyes- don't ask why she's there, she just is)  
  
Polgara- Yes, dear. I think we all deserved a little break from our lives.   
  
Garion- If you don't mind me asking, Aunt Pol, what do you need a break from?  
  
Polgara- Just because I'm not busy being a ruler doesn't mean I don't need a break from household projects, dear.  
  
Ce'Nedra- Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one...  
  
Beldin- (scratching himself and muttering)  
  
Suddenly, when all of the characters were becoming very relaxed, a figure appeared before them.  
  
Silk- (stops glaring at the cloth, slowly lifts his eyes up, shrieks, and goes to hide behind Toth)  
  
Belgarath- (exasperated look) What are YOU doing here again?  
  
Velvet- (glare)  
  
Me- (shrug) I'm bored. (looks at Silk hiding behind Toth) Silk, I know you're there. Don't bother. You know I wouldn't leave unless I got a chance to glomp you anyway.  
  
Silk- Go AWAY!  
  
Me- Why would I want to do that? I just came up with the best idea!  
  
Everyone- (wary looks, except for Errand)  
  
Errand- (looks up curiously) What idea would that be, Miss Songwind?  
  
Me- I thought you guys needed a break from taking a break!  
  
Mandorallen- (blink) Thou hast lost me, my Lady. (yes, he and Lelldorin are here too, along with their wives. I told you, main-main and main-main-main characters are all here. They just haven't been talking much yet)  
  
Me- Well, you all needed a break from your normal lives, but you're just taking a normal vacation! At least, as normal as you can get here. So I thought, what if you all got a break from normal situations entirely, while doing something useful?  
  
Belgarath- And what exactly do you term useful?   
  
Silk- (peers out from behind Toth)  
  
Me- (grin) (races over and promptly glomps Silk) HIYAS!  
  
Silk- AAAAAH!  
  
Velvet- (grabs the nearest thing- which is the frying pan- and starts towards the two of them) Get. Off. Of. Kheldar!  
  
Me- (shrugs and lets go) Alright, alright! Jeez. (looks at frying pan) You don't really think that would hurt an author, do you?  
  
Velvet- (looks at frying pan, looks at Silk, then just glares and sits back down)  
  
Me- Smart woman. (turns to everyone else) So what do you say? It's also a sort of normal thing to do, but with all of you doing it together it's bound to be interesting. Maybe, even special!  
  
Everyone- (wince at the term 'special')  
  
Mandorallen- (eagerly) Art thou giving us the fairest chance, my Lady, to test ourselves in duels?  
  
Me- Uh... (thinks) Metaphorically, you are fighting against the worst foe of all, Mandorallen.  
  
Mandorallen- (jumps up) Then I shall follow thee unto this task, my Lady!  
  
Garion- Metaphorically?  
  
Me- Oh, enough questions. Let's just get there first. I'll show you what I mean.  
  
The author gestured, using her strange powers as author to use the Will and the Word. With a single spoken word, there was a flash of light, and all that remained at the camping site was a merrily burning fire that started to grow and consume a nearby tree.   
  
Cyradis- (appears at the campsite) My Lords and... what? (stops and listens) Doth there be anyone present? (listens again) Hello? (puzzled frown) Where has everyone disappeared to? (disappears again)  
  
~*~  
  
On another world, the cast of David Eddings opened their eyes to stare around, wondering what sort of 'useful' thing the author had given them to do. All they saw was a big, empty plot of land, and a newly made house with a ton of cans and brushes around.  
  
Garion- Whaaaa? (looks around) Where'd she go?  
  
Ce'Nedra- I'm right here, dear. (looks thoughtfully at her coins, then sighs) Oh well, I guess I got the count right... (looks up) Where ARE we?  
  
Beldin- (grunt) This must be our task. (points at house.)  
  
Durnik- (looks at it thoughtfully) It seems to be a well-made house...  
  
Belgarath- Here's some parchment! (picks it up, opens it, and stares. Then,) SONGWIND YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT WE DON'T READ YOUR LANGUAGE!!  
  
Me- Um, oops...   
  
There was an odd, whirring sound, and another paper appeared in Belgarath's free hand.  
  
Belgarath- Thank you. (opens it up and stares at it) Huh.  
  
Polgara- Well, what is it father?  
  
Belgarath- The project is to paint this house with any of the stuff in the cans assembled. (points at cans) We use the paintbrushes... (point at brushes) And she suggests we all cover our hair and skin so we don't get covered in paint.  
  
Beldin- What's the point to painting a house? It's ugly enough already.  
  
Polgara- (dreamy look) I suppose it would be rather charming to have a nice, blue house...  
  
Durnik- I don't know, Pol. Wouldn't applying something wet to wood ruin the wood?  
  
Another whirring sound... well, sounded... and another paper appeared. Belgarath picked it up and read it.  
  
Belgarath- She says it protects the wood.  
  
Durnik- Alright, if she says so...  
  
Silk- (peers from around Toth, who is getting a little uneasy about the little man hiding behind him constantly) Maybe you can use your sorcery and get us OUTTA HERE! This is HER world! (shudders) Who knows when that... when SHE could show up!  
  
Everyone looked up at the sky nervously, as though expecting to see an ominous figure lurking in the clouds above. However, all they saw was a bright, cloudless sky with the sun shining and birds singing.  
  
Beldin- The spy's right. (belches) Let's get this damn project over and get back home. I want more ale, and she never gives me ale.  
  
Belgarath- (pats him on the back sympathetically) I understand. Let's start! (he frowns, and points at the house) PAINT!  
  
Nothing happens.  
  
Belgarath- (stares) What?   
  
Polgara- Perhaps you didn't think of the paint itself, father. Let me try. (tries) Blue...  
  
Again, nothing happens. The house stands unpainted, the paint cans are unopened, and the paintbrushes haven't done much but lie where they were since they appeared in this story.  
  
Another piece of paper appeared at Belgarath's feet, and he slowly bends to pick it up.  
  
Belgarath- Oh dear, Pol... looks like we can't use sorcery at all. None of us can. We have to do it all physically. (sour look at the cheerful sky) YOU'RE having fun, aren't you!?  
  
Me- Actually, I am... HIYAS, SILK!  
  
Silk, who had been starting to stand a little ways away from Toth and regain some of his composure, melted back into his panicky ways and dove behind Ce'Nedra.   
  
Me- (laughs)  
  
Silk- She's EVIL. (shudders)  
  
Ce'Nedra- Oh for the Gods' sake, Prince Kheldar! I don't see why you're so worried! She just considers you her favorite character.  
  
Silk- You don't know what that's LIKE. YOU try being her favorite male character and see how YOU like it!  
  
Garion- What does she DO?  
  
Silk- Oh, it never goes beyond glomps, but that's bad enough. How would you like having some crazed teenager girl hanging around you all the time, magically stealing you from all your important business transactions to just GLOMP you?!  
  
Me- (sulking) I'm just trying to save you, Silk.   
  
Silk- (ducks behind Ce'Nedra)  
  
Ce'Nedra- Oh, stop that. You're being ridiculous. (shoves him away)  
  
Silk- (stares uneasily up at the sky) You know, I think I'm going to change my mind about caves. Maybe I'll move in with the Ulgos.   
  
Relg- (starts to shake his head)  
  
Belgarath- They're far too honest for you, Silk.  
  
Relg- (considers whether that's an insult or compliment, then nods) Though perhaps the Ulgos can teach you a way to come away from all of your sin!  
  
Silk- Oh, please.  
  
Belgarath- Let's just get this over with. (stares gloomily at the cans of paint)  
  
Everyone begins to walk over to the cans and stare at them for a while. The cans sit there, waiting to be used. Mandorallen is sitting there blinking in a confused manner.  
  
Mandorallen- Prithee, someone explain to me! I don't understand! Where doth our foe lie?  
  
Beldin- (rolls eyes) She said metaphorically. Apparently she meant our 'greatest foe' as nature. I'm guessing she's going to live in this thing or something.  
  
Mandorallen- But then, what doth be our task?  
  
Garion- (takes a deep breath) Mandorallen, let me put this very slowly. We-are-going-to-paint-this-house.  
  
Mandorallen- ...Oh.  
  
Garion- (relieved)  
  
Mandorallen- ...So doth that make the PAINT our foe, or the HOUSE?  
  
Everyone fell over.  
  
Belgarath- I don't believe this. How did I get into this? WHO agreed to this!?  
  
Everyone got up, rubbing newly acquired bruises from falling over so suddenly, and pointed to Mandorallen, who has his lance ready and is staring at the house in a weird way.  
  
Mandorallen- It doth be the HOUSE, am I right? Oh home of evil! Try to withstand my blow! (starts towards house)  
  
Everyone stared at him for a moment, then grabbed him so he wouldn't harm the house that just kind of sat there through the whole thing.   
  
~*~  
Everyone- (grin) I seem to have a big role in this so far, don't I?  
  
Me- But of course! You are a critical role in every story!  
  
Everyone- (grin grows) You are SO nice, Songwind.   
  
Me- Of course I am! Now come on, let's get back to the story before it gets too much more off course.  
  
Everyone- Alright.  
  
~*~  
Belgarath suddenly blinked and looked around, seeming vaguely confused.  
  
Polgara- What's the matter, father?  
  
Belgarath- I had a weird thought that the term 'everyone' was actually a person who was playing a role in a story and talking to the author.  
  
Garion- That... um, IS sort of a strange thought, Grandfather. (busy holding Mandorallen back from attacking the house) Will you STOP that?!  
  
Durnik- Well? (also holding onto the knight)  
  
Belgarath- Well what?  
  
Durnik- Were we planning to get started, or do we want an extended vacation in the Lady's La-La Vacation Land?  
  
Garion- (curiously) 'La-La'?  
  
Durnik- (shrugs)   
  
Polgara- We might as well.  
  
Toth- (starts gesturing)  
  
Durnik- He's asking if we want him to rip open the cans and just pour the paint on.  
  
Yet another piece of paper appeared on the ground. Belgarath glared at it.  
  
Belgarath- I'm getting tired of this. (bends down to get it) It says we all have to participate.  
  
Silk- (somewhat composed again) Wouldn't we all be participating if we busied ourselves with handing the cans over to Toth and letting him open them?  
  
Belgarath- Songwind, if you drop another piece of paper in front of me-  
  
A paper appeared out of nowhere, this time in front of Durnik. Durnik gravely picked it up, unfolded it, and turned to Belgarath.  
  
Belgarath- Well?  
  
Durnik- She says that that's what she'd expect from you, Silk, and she says that Belgarath may end up on the roof without sorcery if he complains too much more.  
  
Belgarath- (glares up at the cheerful sky.)  
  
Durnik- Oh, yes, she also says to begin we all have to decide on a color for the house.  
  
Ce'Nedra- OH! OH! We absolutely MUST do pink!  
  
Everyone else- (wince)  
  
Velvet- How about violet?  
  
Belgarath- (looking pained) Ladies, do you think any self-respecting old man like myself would ever paint a house pink or violet?  
  
Beldin- Of course not. That's why we're glad you're not a self-respecting person, though you ARE an old man.  
  
Belgarath- (glare) Oh, thanks a lot.  
  
Beldin- Don't mention it.  
  
Polgara- It will be dark blue.  
  
Durnik- I don't know, Pol. Even on a dark shade a number of things show up against it. Perhaps we could do a nice brown.  
  
Beldin- (sly look at Belgarath) Oh, I don't think so. I think that would be far too plain. We should do a brilliant white to symbolize our beloved Ancient One.  
  
Belgarath- (glare)  
  
Relg- You are all wrong! You should leave everything plain but in a dignified color paint across every side and the roof "Holy UL!" and then a few Ulgo prayers!  
  
Garion- Um, Relg?  
  
Relg- Yes?  
  
Garion- Don't you belong to Mara now, so you should be rooting for HIM instead of UL? (quickly) I mean, of course UL is holy but shouldn't you be focusing more on Mara now?  
  
Relg- (stares at him, then goes into a religious frenzy like in the Belgariad series)  
  
Belgarath- (muttering) Wonderful. This is just wonderful! (looks around)   
  
Then, Lelldorin became inspired.  
  
Lelldorin- How about green? Green kinda always goes with blue, it goes with red, everything goes with white, gray kinda goes, and brown goes great like soil and grass!  
  
Everyone turned to face him, astounded at his sudden intelligence.  
  
Me- Enjoy it while you can. This was just so you wouldn't argue forever.  
  
Belgarath- And I suppose that the fact that green is your favorite color had absolutely NOTHING to do with this?  
  
Me- Of course! (innocently)  
  
Garion- You know, I've been wondering for the last couple of pages... if she's not up in the sky, where IS she watching us and talking to us?  
  
Me- (ominous voice) I am EVERYWHERE, young Garion. Mwahahaha... um, actually, I'm stuck up in a nearby tree and I can't get down.  
  
The group of characters shrugged at the author's fate and turned to Belgarath, since he seemed to be talking the most.  
  
Belgarath- WHAT? Don't look at ME! Look at... HIM! (points at Garion) HE'S the one with the voices in his head telling him what to do.  
  
Garion- But the voice can't help with this, can he?  
  
Belgarath- Try calling him and asking.  
  
Garion agreed and closed his eyes, sending out his mind. However, the voice that had always been with him somehow seemed shut off from him. He tried to find it, but he couldn't. Finally, he opened his eyes and shook his head.  
  
Garion- I'm afraid I can't reach him, Grandfather.  
  
Durnik- (looking dubiously at Mandorallen) Perhaps someone should keep an eye on Mandorallen here so he won't decide to charge the house or the paint cans while we're busy.  
  
Silk- Toth, perhaps?  
  
Durnik- Hmm. I'm not sure. He could help us paint a lot quicker, but... I think it would be best if he watched Mandorallen too. (signs to Toth)  
  
Toth- (signs back)  
  
Durnik- He'll do it. Let's go get started.  
  
The group- without Toth and Mandorallen- made their way towards the paint cans and stared at them for a while, as though staring at them would make the paint cans start painting the house by itself. The paint cans, however, had no intention of moving on their own, so finally everyone gave up. Suddenly, another piece of paper appeared in front of Durnik. He picked it up and turned to the others.  
  
Durnik- She says the roof should be a different color than the body of the house. She suggests white. (Uncertainly) I think brown would still be best, though...  
  
Polgara- Then let's just use white, then. Now we should decide where to begin.  
  
Silk- Right where we are now sounds good to me.  
  
Garion- I think we should do the roof first. Then if we drop any paint on the house we can just worry about that later.  
  
Belgarath- Alright, let's get this over with. I don't plan on staying here for eternity.  
  
~*~   
  
Will the David Eddings characters manage to paint the house? Will Cyradis figure out where they've disappeared to and warn them about Zandramas? What about the Orb? What do the Gods think about this? Why am I asking stupid questions? Please review! Until next time... 


End file.
